Corporal Buster – a canine’s canine – from the annals of warfare comes an inside story of one of our brave and formidible K9 Corps.
Sniff on, Brothers and Sisters.
News brief: K9 War Desk
The studio lights come up on a semicircle of K9 anchors, all in tiny headsets and little clip‑on press badges. One scratches, one is mid‑lick, one is sniffing the desk like the last treat is hiding underneath.
The lead anchor, a grizzled German Shepherd with a chewed‑up tie, faces the camera.
“Good evening. Tensions are rising on our northern border. Command has confirmed that the K9 Corps will be deployed first to clear the area for follow‑on troops. Because of course we go first. Again.”
He shuffles his papers—mostly paw‑prints—and nods to his right.
“To help us understand what’s happening on the ground, we go now to our war correspondent in the field.”
Cut to: a muddy forward base. The correspondent, another Shepherd in a faded PRESS vest, stands in front of a tent city. Behind him, trucks rumble and humans hustle by, oblivious.
Corporal Buster – the EDD in the news
“Thanks, Max. I’m here with Corporal Buster, Military Working Dog, Explosive Detection Specialist. Buster, how are you feeling about the deployment?”
Next to him sits Buster, a Retriever with a bright harness, tail thumping, tongue lolling.
“Oh, I am ready,” Corporal Buster pants. “I get to ride in trucks, wear my harness, sniff all the things. Best day ever. They said I’m looking for ‘devices.’ No idea what those are, but they smell interesting!”
The correspondent tilts his head.
“Buster, just to be clear… you do know those things you find blow up, right?”
Buster freezes. Tail stops. One ear slowly cocks.
“Say what? Did you say Blow up?” he repeats. “Like… boom blow up?”
“Yup,” the correspondent says calmly. “Big BOOM.”
There’s a long beat. Buster’s eyes get wider. He looks left, then right.
“HANK! Hey, Hank!” He twists around, staring off‑camera. “Yeah, you with the helmet. I’m talking to you.”
The camera pans to his handler: a fully armored soldier, plates, helmet, goggles—he looks like a tactical Pillsbury Doughboy. He reaches down to pat Buster, oblivious.
Buster pulls away.
“What’s this about explosions, buddy? You never said anything about explosions,” Buster barks. “You had me sniffing right up to them. Those better have been dummy grenades, chum.”
He steps closer, squinting at Hank’s armor.
“And another thing: where’s MY armor? You’ve got plates, helmet, fancy goggles… I’ve got a nylon harness with a handle. What am I, carry‑on luggage?”
The correspondent leans toward the camera.
“For our viewers at home, the handler appears unaware of the conversation and is attempting the classic ‘good boy’ distraction technique.”
Buster turns back to Hank, now in full rant.
“No wonder you never mentioned the explosions. ‘Oh, it’s just training, buddy, go sniff that metal thing.’ You better hope I sit next time I find one, mister. Matter of fact, you better hope I don’t sit on you next time.”
Hank, thoroughly confused by the sudden barking tirade, backs away and, in a panic, ducks into the K9’s kennel and pulls the door shut behind him.
The correspondent looks at the camera, deadpan.
“Well, there you have it. On the eve of deployment, morale is… mixed. Back to you in the studio.”
Cut to the anchor desk. The panel of K9s is now all talking at once: one insisting on unionizing for hazard pay, another demanding chew‑proof body armor, a third sniffing the camera lens. The lead anchor shuffles his papers again.
“We’ll continue to monitor the situation at the northern border, and the armor situation in the K9 Corps, closely. For K9 News Network, I’m Max. Sit, stay… and for the love of biscuits, check the fine print on your deployment orders.”
Fade out under the sound of distant trucks, a lone bark, and someone off‑camera yelling,
“Hank, get out of the kennel!”
As third party reporters, we will continue to keep tabs on this topic as time goes on. OOPS! We’re not supposed to mention time. They’re really sensitive about the 7 to 1 lifespan ratio thing.
